Do away with your old nightlights. These portable nightlight spheres can be brought into bed, or carried through your dark house on the way to find a midnight snack. Sold on Amazon.
I need these for reasons.
Hmmm. You are soaking.
found this sick keyboard at the thrift store and the mouse that comes with it is sick too
I’m sorry, this is so ugly. Probably because of the Comic Sans. But I can dig that mouse.
shut your fucking face fuckface
One time I went on a date to the Olive Garden and I ordered the seafood pasta. I open up one of the muscle oyster things and low and behold there is a tiny crab in there. I freak out and think it’s the craziest thing ever. I keep talking to my then girlfriend about this tiny crab. How hilariously wonderful it is that the little dude crawled in there in the ocean only to become a freaky little part of my pasta. She is very unamused and clearly wants me to shut the hell up about this tiny crab and be a normal person. She is 0% excited about the tiny crab.
The waitress comes over eventually and is like ‘hey how’s the meal?’ and I’m like ‘awesome, but you gotta check this out! i found a tiny crab in here!’ and waitress freaks out and thinks its awesome. And she is like ‘can I take this to show everyone else?’ and I’m all like ‘hells yeah.’ So she does and everyone else that works there thinks it’s awesome.
Girlfriend SUPER annoyed.